Just…..wow

Today was the day that I found out the sex of my baby. I am happy to report that it’s a boy and he is healthy by all accounts. What I did not expect was the feeling that came over me when I got the news. Of course,  I was at the doctor’s office with my lady and got it first-hand. But, the gravity of it was more than I could have imagined. I had given up all hope of fathering children of my own and, even though I knew that my lady was pregnant, it just hadn’t hit home that it is actually going to happen. Today was that day.

I felt joy at knowing what name my offspring would have. I felt great relief that he is healthy. I felt great apprehension because I am feeling the pressure of knowing that I am to be a father of a newborn when approaching middle age. I felt pride in knowing how happy my mother would be when she heard the news. All of these things at once and interchangeably for a while. But now, I mostly feel content and focused on what I need to do to prepare my household for the new arrival. Things are mostly good but there is always room to improve. Above all, I am grateful to God for this gift as I had given all hope that it would happen for me.

I am looking forward to meeting my son and to the years of teaching him to be a strong, independent, and confident man. I hope that I can be the rock for him that he will need and be a good role model. I do not want him to follow in my footsteps; I want him to tread his own way.

I am ready.