My birthday was today. I am now officially a middle-aged individual (not like it wasn’t already true, but now it’s official). I actually took time off from work this year for the first time in my adult life and I’m glad I did. It felt wonderful to not have to deal with rushing away from work or some other responsibility to enjoy the company of my family.
I got some pretty cool gifts and got to eat some awesome steak and all-in-all had a pretty good day and, as I sit here writing this, I’m being presented with a sugar-free double chocolate birthday cake. Although the festivities planned for this weekend will not happen due to all invitees having previous plans, I can still say that I enjoyed my birthday and, judging by the response on the site where people have faces in their books, alot of people wished me well. And a good many of those, I didn’t think would even give a rat’s ass.
I’m hoping that this is the trend with birthdays to come as, in the past, they have usually been unmitigated disasters, complete with fighting and arguing and all. Maybe being an old fart isn’t so bad after all.
I sometimes am confused about what to think. I know, I know, everyone gets this way from time to time, but still, there it is. I have some good things happen to me, I appreciate them, and I move on to the next thing. Same with the not-so-good things although it takes a little more work to move on from those. I wish the latter were not the case, but again, there it is.
My confusion comes from my inability to let the negative things fade from my mind as quickly as maybe they should. I get frustrated about one thing, large or small, and then everything else just seems like it goes to shit in a hurry. I fail to appreciate the good things that may be happening in the midst of the negative things that are clouding my mind and judgment. Simply put, I can’t see the forest for the trees.
It would be nice to be able to let those things fade out of my mind like they should but it’s just not the way I’m wired. I would like to be able to enjoy the simpler things even when they get mixed up in other, more worrisome things. Mostly, I just want to be able to see which is which without having to mull it over or brood needlessly.